Monkey Business
Today, I saw something absolutely horrifying. Something that will have me traumatized for life.
Today, I accidentally became witness to a rape.
A homosexual rape.
It all started when I came home earlier than expected from an outing. Casually walking into my room, I was greeted by an image that will forever be burned into the deep, dark recesses of my mind, coming back to haunt me in the years to come – much in the same manner that M.C. Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” does so today.
I saw this:
Toy story - what really happens...
My two roommates, Joe the monkey and Smurf the smurf were going at it like rabbits on steroids.
Initially, my presence wasn’t noticed. But once the resounding thud of my jaw hitting the floor became apparent, the perpetrators quickly realized that they weren’t alone. In an instant, emotions changed from boiling hot to ice cold. Kind of the same way you feel when you let out a gut-wrenchingly satisfying fart only to realize that gas wasn’t the only thing to escape your bowels.
I had been discovered. I was the proverbial non-gas matter that was released during the throes of their sexually proverbial fart.
It was that kind of fleeting moment when you’re caught between two conflicting moments. You’re on the fence of two different situations with devastatingly different climaxes (again, pun not intended).
On one side there’s the pure, primal and unadulteratedly animal (pun not intended) ecstasy you feel when you are about to slap your partner’s ass as you doggystyle him/her into oblivion.
Being caught slapping someone's ass is never nice
On the other side, confusion followed by a wave of panic as they discovered that their miserable little lives will forever by shattered by this moment. The kind of moment where you’re so overwhelmed by the gravity of that second that you’re mind just becomes…..blank.
Joe has the blank look of an admittedly guilty man. ‘Scuse me. Monkey.
Smurf, on the other hand, had a smile that smacked with the look of eternal gratefulness, which led me to believe that he had been an unwilling partner in this situation. It it wasn't that then he just looked horny as hell.
Instead of losing my head, I regained my composure and requested that my two befuddled friends explain their situation.
Apparently, upon my absence, my two supposed friends decided to have a little party.
Note the horny look in Joe's eyes...and the location of his left hand
Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed. A whole can of beer each. Smurf, who was still rather inexperienced when it came to drinking, passed out from all the excitement. Joe on the other hand, has had his fair share of sessions. So, like any sexually deprived red-blooded male, he had to seek release. Joe eyed the limp body of the young and nubile smurf and soon it became too much to resist – regardless of gender. Smurf claims that he tried to say no but in his drunken stupor it might have come out as “Oh yeah baby, gimme some monkey lovin’. Slap that blue ass. Au!”.
According to the accused, my copy of “Loaded” which stared back at him day in and day out was to blame. In his own words, it “was like an infinite lapdance on paper”. Teasingly unattainable (it was on a shelf that was too high for him, you see).
Covergirl Dita von Teese: Propogator of monkey love
I am still deliberating whether this situation is forgivable or not. Not that I underestimate the gravity of the situation, but I, uhm…I, err…kind of…understand his feeling of being deprived.
So until I decide what kind of punishment should be laid down, this is what I have meted out.
Read upside down to get the full message
Today, I accidentally became witness to a rape.
A homosexual rape.
It all started when I came home earlier than expected from an outing. Casually walking into my room, I was greeted by an image that will forever be burned into the deep, dark recesses of my mind, coming back to haunt me in the years to come – much in the same manner that M.C. Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” does so today.
I saw this:
Toy story - what really happens...
My two roommates, Joe the monkey and Smurf the smurf were going at it like rabbits on steroids.
Initially, my presence wasn’t noticed. But once the resounding thud of my jaw hitting the floor became apparent, the perpetrators quickly realized that they weren’t alone. In an instant, emotions changed from boiling hot to ice cold. Kind of the same way you feel when you let out a gut-wrenchingly satisfying fart only to realize that gas wasn’t the only thing to escape your bowels.
I had been discovered. I was the proverbial non-gas matter that was released during the throes of their sexually proverbial fart.
It was that kind of fleeting moment when you’re caught between two conflicting moments. You’re on the fence of two different situations with devastatingly different climaxes (again, pun not intended).
On one side there’s the pure, primal and unadulteratedly animal (pun not intended) ecstasy you feel when you are about to slap your partner’s ass as you doggystyle him/her into oblivion.
Being caught slapping someone's ass is never nice
On the other side, confusion followed by a wave of panic as they discovered that their miserable little lives will forever by shattered by this moment. The kind of moment where you’re so overwhelmed by the gravity of that second that you’re mind just becomes…..blank.
Joe has the blank look of an admittedly guilty man. ‘Scuse me. Monkey.
Smurf, on the other hand, had a smile that smacked with the look of eternal gratefulness, which led me to believe that he had been an unwilling partner in this situation. It it wasn't that then he just looked horny as hell.
Instead of losing my head, I regained my composure and requested that my two befuddled friends explain their situation.
Apparently, upon my absence, my two supposed friends decided to have a little party.
Note the horny look in Joe's eyes...and the location of his left hand
Copious amounts of alcohol were consumed. A whole can of beer each. Smurf, who was still rather inexperienced when it came to drinking, passed out from all the excitement. Joe on the other hand, has had his fair share of sessions. So, like any sexually deprived red-blooded male, he had to seek release. Joe eyed the limp body of the young and nubile smurf and soon it became too much to resist – regardless of gender. Smurf claims that he tried to say no but in his drunken stupor it might have come out as “Oh yeah baby, gimme some monkey lovin’. Slap that blue ass. Au!”.
According to the accused, my copy of “Loaded” which stared back at him day in and day out was to blame. In his own words, it “was like an infinite lapdance on paper”. Teasingly unattainable (it was on a shelf that was too high for him, you see).
Covergirl Dita von Teese: Propogator of monkey love
I am still deliberating whether this situation is forgivable or not. Not that I underestimate the gravity of the situation, but I, uhm…I, err…kind of…understand his feeling of being deprived.
So until I decide what kind of punishment should be laid down, this is what I have meted out.
Read upside down to get the full message
posted by eldiablocorneo at 3:08 pm
2 Comments:
Dude, this is major pornography! At least ur over 18, so enjoy the show =)
oii u got no FYP 2 do isit? so free do write such nice detailed stories... newayz its some good shit..if onli tat was ur assignment :P
Post a Comment
<< Home