Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears. Ok, ok, I know the only Romans around are Chelsea fans and God bless their Russian, ruble filled souls. Not. I've been away for a while. The hols are on and for some reason, for once I feel disattached to the net. Just didn't feel like going online for whatever reason. Just been chillinh back on the good island of Penang and doing a bit of work on my final year project for which I got unfairly fried during my mid-point. He shall repent, I swear. That got me quite down for a quite a few days and I think that's the initial reason why I didn't want to go on the net for a while. I'm more or less back to normal now. Go to the dark side, I shall not!

And while I've been away, my hits have gone past the 600 mark! Woohoo! Small fry for some of you most established bloggers out there, but I don't care! 600...wow....I think I'm gonna cry.

I even got "fan mail". Haha, this cheered me up considerably. Thanks Komz!

Hi Kaval...how are things going.. Hey remember that time you gave me your blog link? Well i bookmarked it and happen to have a read today...i think your blog rocks!! You write really well..and i think you've just got yourself yet another fan...:) Well you keep writing for us desperate readers who keep refreshing every 30 seconds for a new entry to pop up...you're hilarious lah!

Now I'm really gonna cry. And yes, I shamelessly give my blog link to every Tom, Dick and Harry I come across online.

Here's what's happened the last couple of weeks.

1. Got fried by my assessor during mid-point.
2. Put a voodoo hex on my assessor
3. Felt really down, contemplated life and what it's all about.
4. Decided to stand up and fight instead of feeling sorry for myself.
5. I took a week off and was about ready to face the world again.
6. Then Malcolm Glazer bought Man Utd and the whole process repeated.
7. Met someone while clubbing who claimed to know Jay Sean, Rishi Rich, Punjabi MC and Juggy D. Oh yeah, he also got in touch with Beyonce' about having a concert here. Then, he hands me his card. He's in the Singapore army and currently posted to the TUDM base in Butterworth. Lance - Corporal or something. I tell you the amount of shit some people talk. I hate posers man. I really do.
8. Checking my bank balance everyday hoping for my PTPTN cash to be banked in. Technically, I should have got it in January.
9. Went to watch Kingdom of Heaven - alone (cue Akon's Lonely). Then bought myself a couple of shirts from FOS. Kenneth Cole and Fubu. And a Che Guevara bandana. Grand total = 50 bucks. I am the ultimate bargain hunter.
10. Proceeded the check out the Timberland store and drool over the roll - tops that's on my wish - list. Only RM 600. Then I saw the same boots that I have. I got mine for RM150 at one of the bundle shops in Pudu. And yes they are original, just that you don't get a box with it. In the Timberland store, they cost RM700. RM700!!!!! I AM THE ULTIMATE BARGAIN HUNTER.
11. Sleeping at 5 am and waking up at 4 pm everyday.
12. Got myself a Star Wars ticket for the first show on Thursday morning. Yes. I will be watching Star Wars alone, an I will be one of the first. The advantages of living in Penang.....

Speaking of Star Wars, I was going through Kenny Sia's blog just now and his latest post is just too funny. Condolences to you Kenny, on the passing of your dad recently, but I"m glad to see your sense of humour is still intact. Go check out this post. I got this pic off that post. Enjoy.


Opening 19th May nationwide.

Mollywood Physics

Got this off a Friendster bulletin...

Recently the Father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Tamil movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In the movie starring Vijaykanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes:

1) Vijaykanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Vijaykanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Vijaykanth.

2) In one of the movies, Vijaykanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Vijaykanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..& shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife killed the middle one.


3) Vijaykanth is chased by a gangster. Vijaykanth has a revolver but he has no bullets in it. Guess what he does? Nah...not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Vijaykanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...And the gangster dies....

This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a movie for one last time and thought that at least one movie will follow his theory of physics. The whole movies go fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops! Not so fast. The Climax finally arrives.

Vijaykanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that
Vijaykanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Vijaykanth has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. (Newton is smiling since it is virtually impossible). Vijaykanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead. (...)

Newton commits suicide.

This is hilarious!!! It also reminds me of one of the best cinematic pieces of comedy I have ever had the pleasure to witness and enjoy. It was late one night and this tamil movie was showing on TV. I can count myself blessed to have caught the last few minutes of it.

Rajnikanth Superstar was chasing Mr. Villain in a some old-fashioned white car. Looked like a Morris I think. Mr. Villain proceeds to head into some building. Our hero Rajnikanth Superstar parks his car in the empry parking lot and runs after Mr. Villain in the building so that justice can be served.

However, Mr. Villain is nowhere to be seen...but suddenly, Rajnikanth Superstar catches a glimpse of Mr. Villain running out the front door, thus our Superstar goes after him. However (jeng jeng), Mr. Villain has escaped in a car. Rajnikanth Superstar rushes back to the parking lot, where (CRIPES! BLAZES!)...

The car park is now filled with the same model and colour of car that our hero drove in just a couple of minutes earlier!!!

I swear that is the best piece of cinematic comedy I have ever had the pleasuere to experience...

Random thoughts...

My dad's a science teacher. Just now he was testing my cousin. The question was "What are multicellular and monocellular microoorganisms?".

Here's what I immediately thought:

Multicellular microorganisms: People that use more than 1 handphone
Monocellular microorganisms: People that use 1 handphone

I think it's hilarious! You probably don't get it. I told you my sense of humour was on a higher intellectual plane than the rest of you.

On another note, the final instalment of Star Wars is coming soon. I was playing back the space battle scenes through my head and I suddenly noticed 2 discrepancies:

1- Outer space is a vacuum, and therefore soundless. How is it that we can hear all the explosions and lasers and the little droids piggybacking on the spaceships?
2- This one is even more perplexing. Not all of the shots fired are on target, and as we know, space is endless and without any force to reduce the momentum of the shots fired. In any case, they use lasers and thus even with air, lasers are not affected. They just stay constant and keep going. Which brings me to my question; where do the missed shots go to? The logical answer is that they would go on endlessly till it hits some poor innocent ship or a planet. So each time there's a battle, there would be thousands of innocent victims millions of miles away.


Space battles: You could be next (Source: www.oneposter.com)

Just imagine this scenario: A million years and a trillion gazillion miles away after the climactic space battle which finally destroyed the Death Star and the Galactic Empire, somewhere on a little planet called Earth...

Wife: BOB! Take out the trash, will ya!!!
Bob: Yea, yea, mumble.....
Wife: BOB!!! NOW!!!!
Bob: *Stupid bitch* I'll do it after SportsCenter.
Wife: NOW BOB!!! NOW!!! OR NO SEX FOR A WEEK!!!

So Bob gets up and takes the trash out. Suddenly.......KAPOW!!!!!! Bob is a fried potato and he won't have sex ever again. Not just a week.

That might explain all those mysterious deaths and disappearances. Missing? No sirree, they were fried by stray lasers shot by X and Y - Wings, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...